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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier landscape than their millennial elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a detailed guide to the terms Zoomers is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most popular memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reaction is inquisitive or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while oozing enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

C

Chair theory – This means choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal quirks signaling a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your choice to date a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane repulsions that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet gesture.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {